My Dear Darling (6)


Read the previous letters here:

My Dear Darling series 

Day 12
My Dear Darling,

     I hope you and the baby are doing well.  My days are quickly becoming torturous.  More than the atrocities I have done, one thing keeps me far from sleep. I killed a little boy. Not more than 5 of age, he was a skinny boy covered in dirt, defenseless and scared. He cried as his village burned in red flames, filled with screams of people burning alive.

      Men, women and children alike were dying before they knew what hit them. This little boy was running around, so scared and in pain, covered in blood, trying to find his mother. The next bomb ended his life in a scream. No evidence was left of his existence. 

     I am unable to find pleasure in any of my victories but the fact that I am still alive, and can get back to my family. The more I think about what I am doing, more doubts crowd my mind. I have come to resent all this so much that now, I think war is nothing but a dignified way of mass murdering; Nothing more than glorified savagery that covers ones hands in blood. Looking back, I have so much blood on mine that I can’t ever hope to wash off. How do I sleep anymore?
Yours,

Soldier in love. 

Image Source: Pixabay
Daily prompt: Dignify

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My Dear Darling (5)

Read the previous letters here:

My Dear Darling series 

Day 7

My Dear Darling,

     I received your correspondence just now. What wonderful news you have given me! I cannot express in words my joy. I wish I was there with you when you found out about the pregnancy. Now I can only imagine your sweet blush when you tell me we are having a baby, such a pretty pink coloring your cheeks. 

    I wish this war would be over soon, even more so, now that I know my little family is growing. Hopefully, with blessings from heaven, it will all end. After knowing such joy and longing, I cannot help but wish every man could return home to his family, friendly and enemy alike. 

    A person changes as he grows. I believe me wanting everyone to go back home is my own growth, for I used to be a man who believed war was glorious, horror and all. I used to love the adrenaline that runs through my veins as my heart beats synchronize with the battle drums. I used to think war is the only way for peace. But now I know true peace comes from the love that fills your heart, love for your own family.

     Tomorrow, I leave once again, to do my duty to my country. Tomorrow, I step back into the nightmare. But tonight, I am going to sleep with a smile on my lips, heart warm with love, thinking about the day I will hold our baby.

Yours,

Soldier in love.

Image Source: Pixabay 

Daily Prompt: Synchronize

My Dear Darling (4)

Read the previous letters here:

My Dear Darling series 

Day 6
My Dear Darling,

     There has been a change in our plan. Things are not going well and we have been forced to return to out post. The only solace I find in this is that I can write you sooner than I expected to. You might wonder why I am telling you details of our actions.  Do not worry, my dear. It is safe for me to write such vague informs that everyone already knows. 

     On our way back, we had to hunt some game for food. I killed a lovely deer.  We could not use our guns for a fear of being heard. So shooting it down was not an option. The amount of stealth and speed it required was tremendous. It was almost like a training exercise. It was grazing so peacefully, quite a sight to look at. I sneaked upon it from behind. I stabbed through it’s neck even before I landed from my leap. The thrill ran high in my blood, until I saw it’s thick red blood gushing from the deep wound. Very soon, I am going to kill people, just like I hunted this little animal down. Somehow, killing another person is wrong, while what I just did is right. 

     Memories of the people I murdered in the last war surged, draining me of all the excitement. My appetite was gone, as I sit  there with the deer wailing in pain, watching the steady flow of blood turn to a slow ooze, making a puddle around it. The stench of blood thickened the air, suffocating me with the memories of active battlefields. 

     Visions of such gore only led me to think about you, basking under the warm morning sun, singing in your sweet voice. The picture of you sitting on the green meadows, waiting with a smile and a basket of food, swimmed before my eyes. I long for those moments now every time I see food or when I am hungry. 

     I hope you are not worrying your health by keeping your thoughts on me too much that you refuse to take enough sustenance. Another cold night passes here, with remembered sound of your musical voice.
Yours,

Soldier in love. 

Image source: Pixabay 

Ooze

My Dear Darling (3)

Read the previous letters here.

My Dear Darling Series

Day 4
My Dear Darling,

     Today passed in endless travel. We are not in enemy territory yet. So it is easy to cover long distances in short time.  It is quite sad to see such beautiful places and then think about the destruction the war would bring. 

     One oasis we passed, I loved the most. Such greenery that makes you feel like venturing deep into the Amazon. The rare, wild flowers kept my gaze fixed on them during our respite. I watched a beautiful red flower devour a stout little bee, reminding me all too well of the purpose of my journey. Survival of fittest. Beautiful and delicate things can be deadly too. Even the savage survival of that blossom I wish to witness with you, hand in hand. As much as the relaxation such beautiful visions give me, they make me feel lonelier, even with us comrades bonding together. I even have one of my good friends from my earlier military service in my squadron here. Yet, it is your voice that I wish to hear. 

     Look at me. I am writing everything but what I really need to. Saying it would make it feel true. I don’t want it to. But I need to tell you even if it gives me much despair. I am quite sure you came to know this today. My dear, I am sorry. You will not be able to write me. My location will always be unpredictable. Even if you knew, receiving your correspondence without being intercepted by enemy hands will be too difficult, if I get it at all. 

     How do I go day after day without your words?! Dread and loss fill my heart. I can only tell you occasionally of my days but I can never know of yours. When I served in the previous war, I did not have anyone to write to. I did not feel this pain squeezing my heart tight as a python breaking it’s prey. But now I know what my comrades meant when they said they missed their wives. In a day, I have gone from waiting for your letter to imagining your voice. What war does to a man! I pray, to complete my mission successfully and return to base so I can hear from you one more time. 

Yours,

Soldier in love.

Image source: Pixabay

My Dear Darling (2)

Image Source: Pixabay 
Day 3

My Dear Darling,

    I am glad to hear you are well and that you’re staying with your mother. I will feel comfortable also if I know that you’re with familial company. Give your mother my greetings. 

   I am getting deployed tomorrow and I do not know when I can write you again. But tonight, I once again lay awake in my quarters thinking of you. The dark night outside feels baleful, filling me with dread for the days to come. I am supposed to be a man of valor. I ought to be your hero. But my love, I am scared. I promised you I will come back to you. I am going to do everything in a man’s power to keep that promise. But my heart asks the one horrendous question. It asks, “what if?”, for tomorrow, it all begins. 
   In the midst of the storm raging in my heart, you stand calm in its eye, smiling ever so peacefully.  You have become my strength, my line of life. Strange how a man goes to war to save his country but in truth fights hardest to get back to his heart that he left back home. I wonder if every soldier is like that. Such thoughts fill my mind already, before the first fight commences. 

    There is so much for me to share with you but now that I am writing this, words fail me. I am overcome by the feelings of missing you. I now try to sleep with our bed and your warmth in my mind’s eye, telling me I am home. 
Yours,

Soldier in love.

My Dear Darling (1)

Image Source: Pixabay

Day 1
My Dear Darling,

     I cannot believe we parted only last sunset. The hours feel like days and I miss you terribly already. I think the sight of you waving me goodbye with tears, in that beautiful blue gown we had tailored last month, is going to stay with my eyes for a long time to come. I have slept not a wink through the night and it is only the first day. I hope you manage to bear our separation better than I do.

     Our train just crossed the second city. I sit here on my bunk with my fellow soldiers, writing to our loved ones. Crumpled blankets and creased pantaloons even before the fight begins. I am sure the parchments and this tiny vial of ink will become my most precious treasure through this battle. 

     This letter will reach you fast as I am not so far away from you. It pains my heart to think that the farther I get from you, the longer it will take for my letters to reach you, and even longer for your correspondence to reach me.

     Everyone here is still consumed by the sadness of being separated from their love. But naught can a man do when a duty as this one calls. I wonder what happens when the fear settles in, when they know in their hearts that every minute they pass could be their last. That day is inching closer and closer. As soon as we reach the encampment, our battalions would be assigned and we would be off to war. But I promise you my love, I will come back to you. You are the one thing that will keep me fighting with strength drawn from our love, every moment. So until I return, take care of yourself. I will write again in the nearest opportunity. 

Yours,

Soldier in love.