Think again

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  It has been months. We’ve run out of our rations days ago. My troop of once mighty soldiers now scrawny is the only regiment left, and the enemy knows it too. While it searches for us like a wolf stalking its prey, we huddle in the dark hole, planning our last ditch effort to win the war. It was only a matter of time before we died anyway. 

     We were hurt, tired, hungry and scared. We had no firearms save the small throw dagger each. There wasn’t much to plan either. “Infiltrate. Blow up.” A fellow soldier repeated after me. Stupidest plan ever. I know. We need to pick up weapons and explosives from the enemy soldiers we kill on the way to their command center.

    We set out quiet as mice, inching our way out of the hole and into the enemy camps. At least five of us had to make it to the command center with enough C-4. I signalled a final goodbye to my best friend and we spread out. 

    It took me four blood baths to reach the center. I was lucky to have gone undetected through that mess. I looked at my watch, hiding in whatever shadow I could find. Ten minutes to mark. Time to set the bombs. 

    The moment I had to put my biggest trust in my soldiers ticked closer. Six…Five…Four…Three…Two…One. I pressed the trigger and the east side of the camp exploded into an inferno, the heat wave throwing me back several feet. My ears ringing and head pounding, I looked up. The entire camp was ablaze. My team had come through.

    One by one we gathered in the old abandoned school amidst the loud silence of grievance and quiet cries of pain. I turned hearing my name to see my friend rushing towards me. Relief washed over me hard and fast, it almost hurt physically.  We found a quiet corner to debrief. 

   “We lost three.” He said. Though they were good men lost, it was much lower than I anticipated. 

   “One lucky day I guess. I ran into four different groups and made it out.” I said.

   “Think again.” Was all he said.

    The truth dawned, striking a chill over me as I looked over the old building that had whoever remained alive, injured or not.

    “This war is not over yet.” Words came out of my mouth no louder than a whisper.

   “Come on! It’s 8 already. Wake up!” My mom’s voice rang loud as a bell. 


Your voice…

I used to think I was in love
With music and the people those voices belonged to
But then I heard you for the first time
Realised what I felt before wasn’t love
Because I know now.

I watched you from so far away
You didn’t even know I existed
Today, I’m walking to you
Thinking so far back.

The world knows your voice is your lifeline
They all know there’s no you where there’s no song
But have you ever thought
Your voice could become someone else’s lifeline
I wish you knew because your voice is my lifeline.

I watched you sing
Through endless hardships
To grow into the man you today are
Each of those days all along,
It was your voice, that soared though the notes
But it was my heart, drumming along,
Forgetting the hard life.

My days’ cruelty bled into my nights
Haunting my dreams,
Pushing me into nightmares.
But you pulled me back, every time,
Through your song playing by my bed.
I then open my eyes
And wish you knew,
Your voice is my lifeline…

The Darkness

Trying out a melancholy…

O the creatures of this earth,

Tell me about your life.
Tell me how you lived,
Tell me how you live,
Tell me how you will.
How do you do without begrudging your life?
Cause this life,
Makes me feel I’m no good to live.
Do I have a purpose?
Do I have a cause?
Even if I do,
I do not belong to
What I do to do.
Will I get to my right place?
Will I get my right space?
To do what I want to do.
Must I do good in what I do?
Should I hate what I want to do?
Or should I love what I do to do?
Should I regret who I am?
Or should I bloom on who I am?
Do I need these failures?
Do I need them to do?
Why do they stop me 
From what I want to do?
Why do they push me 
To do what I do to do?
I’m standing right here,
All alone, in here,
Surrounded by souls
That can never know
What I want them to know.
When will this battle end?
The battle of life…
Fighting as a single on my side,
I face the charge
Of the opposite side
With no one by my side.
Will I win?
Will I lose?
Do I have the power,
To overpower the tower,
And take the flower
Which turns to a shower?
They laugh, They giggle,
They find pleasure,
Where there is no treasure.
Where the real treasure is,
That I know,
But know not how to reach.
What I think of that treasure,
Valuable than gold,
No one knows.
So, is there one who can walk with me,
On the way to the treasure?
Lost in the woods,
I search for a light.
There I see,
A faint sparkle
But alas! It fades,
Fades and fades,
Finally leaving me,
Where I be, but I am no bee.
Not knowing what to do,
My eyes well up,
Calling for help.
But none came then,
So I dried my pool,
With no more wet,
Losing all hopes.
Should I ask for help,
From the souls around me,
To flash a beam of light
On my path to the right,
Or hold my hands and walk
Through the dark of life?
Will I get the light?
Or will I get the hands?
Or will I get the strength
To walk down the aisle?
O the soul nearby,
Can you hear by your ear
My pleas for your help?
Can you take my hands?
And walk me to my right?
Cause when I ask for a help,
I get the line
“Walk to the light”
But please do know,
That the light left me,
Long, long ago,
When I tumbled into this cave.
So tell me now, If I can,
Get away from this 
Dark cave of fate.
I see the devils smile,
Smile at my hurt.
I feel my eyes close,
Deep to the dark, so
O the souls nearby,
Get me out of this dark.

At the end of the day..

What exactly happens in a day and how does one feel by the time the day ends?

     We begin our day with numerous expectations, dreams and what not.. We try to make our day good. We try to make ourselves happy with our favourite food, a fantasised movie, time with people we love. We work our days away with tiny moments of fun. When the years pass, we begin our lives, yet again with expectations, dreams and what not.. Only at a whole new level. Until then, many of us know nothing about who we really want to be. And when we do, we don’t find a way that leads there. 

     Having infinite ups and downs, blossoms and thorns every day all through life adds to our slow growing strength, every time showing us what went wrong. But that doesn’t keep us from being pierced by a thorn again. It’s always a new thorn, new wound. Shows us the preciousness of the blossoms. We work in various ways to get the flower of our dream bloom, to grow the bud to give it a shot at the least. Each one of us have a flower of different colour, different fragrance, different vision. But at the end of the day, no matter what we do to feel it alive in our hands, when the moon shines upon the lone trees, what we feel is fear. Fear for our lives, fear for our future. Fear and anxiety, that show us where we really are. We drop our eyelids to rest our bodies, but our minds and hearts never really rest. In the far corner they urge us to keep moving forward. How many of us really ask ourselves where we really are at being who we want to be, who we need to be? How many of us really know what path to take? How many of us are ready to take chances to make ourselves feel alive? None of us ever are. At the end of the day we can only be ready enough to take that chance. 
     Why am I telling you all this? I don’t really know. But these words that flow out of my heart, there is a faint ray of possibility for them to reach someone who really need them at the moment. Maybe it could rekindle a died spark in them to achieve their dreams. If that happens, who else could be happier than me? I read, I write.. I learn numerous things from them. I get inspired, motivated, moved, refreshed, flabbergasted. What I read works on my heart and what I write flows out of it. Tonight, on the thought of where I myself am at achieving my dream, intend to take someone with me on the journey to success. I will close my eyes tonight, hoping that one of these days, when I open them, I will find myself where I want to be. I wish so for my fellow people too.