My Dear Darling series
My Dear Darling,
How is our little one? I imagine your body is starting to show off the new life growing within. I try to conjure up in my mind a picture of you, with that tiny bump. Alas, nothing will compare to feeling it in person, watching your eyes speak volumes of happiness and me trying to understand what it will be like in there for our baby. Warm? Safe? I want to be there too. I want to be warm and safe in your embrace instead of keeping watch through the dark, constantly wary.
As I write this, a beautiful red maple leaf dances in the air, slowly drifts down and falls on this paper like a blessing, as if saying you are right here with me. Believing that you are already listening to my words, my pain… It is such a small but very much needed positive thought. Surprisingly, it is changing my view of this maple tree also.
When we first arrived here, it had just rained. This old, lone tree stood tall and wide, with branches too many to count twisted every which way. The flaming red leaves hung from the branches and twigs everywhere, making a vibrant canopy. The ground below was wet and mushy, the dark soil made darker by the decaying fallen leaves. That made the ground look like it was soaked in blood, as if the tree sucks it out of the soil, providing sustenance and color to its leaves. The setting sun cast its last light upon the cold water droplets dripping down, the remnants of a mighty rain. As we watched, those droplets reflected the red that was everywhere around them, showing themselves as blood dripping from the tips of those leaves. Upon first look, it was a giant gory demon with its wild flowing hair, waiting there to welcome us, the rustle of the leaves telling us our end was near.
But now with this single leaf in my hand, I feel silly. Perhaps the many battles have made me paranoid. But in that moment, the fear is real. With any luck, this tree is not a demon, but a fiery angel that will send me back to my wife. Hope rises once again.
Soldier in love
Image Source: Pixabay